Well will be Chinese New Year soon! Ermm and soon after that will be valentines day, but here I am going to spend it in camp. Even if I am outside I know I would be spending it alone or I should that this day has become so insignificant to me already. Well I just have to blame myself for not treasuring and cherishing the moment that when I was with her. And only now am I left to regret it, and writing this down in the journal it just shows how pathetic I am. I don’t wish to let her know all this, but initially I would not deny that I have the intention of let her know how I felt that’s why I put the web address on my friendster’s profile to tell her about my happenings in camp. But as time passed by I feel that its quite pointless maybe she is not reading my entries at all or maybe I think she just feel that I a psycho, I really don’t wish to make her think this way. Its not that I have already forgotten about her, but I just don’t wish to make her feel sad or anything, cause no matter what she is always in my mind. Maybe this entry she would not be reading it. I will soon be taking off the web address of my blog in my friendster blog and keep all this as my memories but I will continue to write on all my happenings. Many people who have read my blog might think that I am a pathetic idiot who dewells in the past. I would still hope that one day she will read the blog, or if she is reading it she will save the web address before I take em off this Sunday before I report to camp.
My only wish is to be in her arms when I feel tired. And not care about what others think.
Coming back to my life in Police academy, well this week is rather a relaxing week. We had all the excursions, like the heritage tour and the tour to the home affairs building, it was really an eye opener for me as I really learn a lot a lot like the background of the 4 main religions in Singapore as well as learning more about the Singapore police force and its evolution to the current state. As well as I got to choose my vocation this week, I choose the special operation command which might require me to go for another 7 weeks training at ulu pandan, I don’t know why maybe at that time I feel like there is nothing to pull me back from doing the extreme, but after awhile of thinking I changed my choice and I hope I didn’t made the wrong one. Well had a pretty good week I guess, there wasn’t anything crazy going on.
Well am going to ZOUK already. Hahaha. I think I am going to drink lesser. And I think I am really kicking the bad habit of smoking, I hope I won’t go back to it again. Maybe she changed and made me determine to quit it. Well I really feel great now. Erm in a few mins time I am off to zouk.. I Feel tired but I want to release all my anguish and everything and all the things that was going through my mind during this week in camp. I really hope I could release it all.
Well she hasn't got her advertising book from me yet, maybe she dosen't want me to personally to pass the book back to her. But i really hope that if she feels awkward in seeing me, i could pass the book to steven and it din't hinder her. I hope she would let me know.
Hmm test is coming the week after chinese new year and i hope i can still get to pass it to her or steven to pass it to her.
Well good day people I am off to zouk. Bye Yawn feeling abit tired keke.
Now listening to Lee Sheng Jie – Yuan Zuo Gao Fei
